Character: Agent Voxine
Q: Thank you so much for coming. I have to say, it was rather difficult to arrange this interview.
A: I’m certain it was. The Dominion has a strict vetting process when it comes to journalists.
Q: Oh. I’m assuming I passed?
A: Let us just say that your…evaluation…is ongoing.
Q: That sounds ominous. So you’re a Mechari! I didn’t realize they made robots quite so…shapely.
A: Rest assured, your reaction is perfectly normal. It merely confirms the effect of an appealing physique on those of diminished intelligence. Such as yourself.
Q: Ouch. I probably deserved that. What can you tell me about the Mechari?
A: The Mechari are a race of sentient, mechanical beings created by the Eldan to serve and protect the Dominion. As the Eldan were the most advanced race in galactic history, the elegant complexity of our design makes us uniquely qualified to ensure the Dominion’s continued success.
Q: From what I’ve heard about the Dominion, I’d say you guys have done a pretty good job.
A: The Dominion has ruled the galaxy for more than 1600 years, and has conquered numerous worlds while doing so. Designating that achievement as “pretty good” is both grossly inaccurate and acutely insulting. For your own well-being, please refrain from doing that again.
Q: You got it. Given the fact that you’re a “mechanical being,” I’m assuming you don’t have to eat?
A: Incorrect. Again. Like any complex lifeform, we require an energy source for continued function. Consuming food is also a useful tool for manipulation. Seeing Mechari eat gives organics the comforting idea that we are, in some way, like them. A most exploitable illusion.
Q: Do you require regular, er, maintenance?
A: Despite the perfection of our design, we do require occasional repair and maintenance in order to ensure the highest level of performance. That being said, we do not age in the same frail manner as organics. There are a number of Mechari Millennials who have lived for more than two thousand years.
Q: Wow! That’s a long time. How old are you?
A: My exact age is highly classified information. If I were to divulge it, it would be necessary to ensure your permanent silence on the subject. I do not believe you would enjoy that process.
Q: Uh, let’s just forget about that question. Tell me about the Eldan. Have you ever seen one?
A: The subject of the Eldan is also classified. In fact, the extreme sensitivity of that particular inquiry makes you a candidate for immediate termination. Do you wish to continue?
Q: That’s a joke, right?
A: Would you like to find out?
Q: N-no. I’m good. Let’s move on. What can you tell me about Dominion?
A: You have an alarming tendency to ask…complicated…questions.
Q: Isn’t that kind of the reason we’re here?
A: Is it? What exactly is your purpose in trying to obtain information about the Dominion? Answer carefully, as it may determine whether you live or die.
Q: Y-you really don’t need to point those lasers at me. I swear I’m just trying to do my job!
A: My scanners indicate a biometric reading consistent with a truthful response. Very well, I will answer the question. The Dominion is a shining beacon of civilization, spreading order and stability throughout the galaxy. Of course, there are dissident elements, but those will be eliminated in time.
Q: “Dissident elements”? Are you talking about the Exiles?
A: Indeed. I fear that there will always be those who are foolish enough to resist the empire. I attribute their actions to the irrationality of organic beings. No matter, they are little more than inconsequential rabble, and will soon be efficiently annihilated.
Q: I hear the Exiles are also headed to the planet Nexus.
A: You seem disturbingly well-informed. I can neither confirm nor deny your statement, but know this: no one will be allowed to contaminate planet Nexus or threaten the Dominion’s rightful legacy. The ICI will make certain of that.
Q: The ICI?
A: The Imperial Corps of Intelligence.
Q: Do you work for them? What exactly does the ICI do?
A: I find your continued probing of classified topics… concerning. Let us just say the goal of the ICI is to safeguard the Dominion from all internal and external threats – such as traitors, spies, or highly curious members of the press.
Q: Uh, ok. Perhaps we’d better move on. Um, what’s your favorite part about being an agent?
A: I enjoy asking questions. And ensuring I get answers. I guess you could say you and I are in the same line of work.
Q: Yes, I guess you could say that. You know what? I think I’ve got everything I need. I should really get going now…
A: Oh, are we done here? Good. Unfortunately, I will be forced to confiscate all footage of this interview. And do not even think of getting up from that chair. Agents, secure the perimeter. I have a few questions of my own…